I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
