i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
