Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
