"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
