i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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