who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
