I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
