YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
