So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
