remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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