What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
