Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
