doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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