I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
