i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
