i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
