the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
