I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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