just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
