I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
