Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
