ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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