guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
