Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
