If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
