we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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