I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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