I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
