he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There r osticjed everywhere
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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