Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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