he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
