that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
