Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
