Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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