you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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