he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize