I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need to sanitize my soul.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
