Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think people are normalizing furries
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize