you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
