we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
