whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
