We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
