Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
