the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
