a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
smell my finger.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
