I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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