Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
