Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
