I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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