one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
