What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize