i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
