if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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