Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
