I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
