I molested 6 butterflies tonight
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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