I'm really into asian looking animals
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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