Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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