As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
