Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
