Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
