theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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