I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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