ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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