so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
