Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
