I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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