we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
