We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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