Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
