Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
