is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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